Assessment: How much do you stink at listening?

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StrategyDriven Business Communications Article
 
Answer these questions to see how accurately you hear what your communication partner intends you to hear, and how much business you are losing as a result.

  1. How often do you enter conversations to hear what you want to hear – and disregard the rest?
  2. How often do you listen to get your own agenda across, regardless of the needs of the speaker?
  3. How often do you have a bias in place before the speaker’s points or agenda are known?
  4. Do you ever assume what the speaker wants from you before he/she states it – whether your assumption is accurate or not?
  5. How often do you listen merely to confirm you are right… and the other person is wrong?
  6. Do you ever enter a conversation without any bias, filters, assumptions, or expectations? What would need to happen for you to enter all conversations with a totally blank slate? Do you have the tools to make that possible?
  7. Because your filters, expectations, biases, and assumptions strongly influence how you hear what’s intended, how do you know that your natural hearing skills enable you to achieve everything you might achieve in a conversation?
  8. How much business have you lost because of your inability to choose the appropriate modality to hear and interpret through?
  9. How many relationships have you lost by driving conversations where you wanted them to be rather than a path of collaboration that would end up someplace surprising?

As I am writing my new book, Did You Really Say What I Think I Heard? I’ve gotten notes from all around the world: everyone thinks they listen accurately. Ah… But do they hear what’s intended?

It’s physiologically impossible to accurately hear what our communication partner intends us to hear. We have biases, filters, triggers, assumptions, and habits that get in the way. And people don’t accurately represent what they mean for us to hear, leaving out details that they assume will be understood and aren’t, or choosing words that have different meanings for listeners. Or the situation we find ourselves in has any range of situational biases that make it difficult. We hear according to our education, family history, religious beliefs, political beliefs, age, ethnicity…

Are you getting the picture here? Not even close to possible. So what is it we are defending? What is so important about believing we hear what’s intended when we don’t – and it’s not even possible?

My new book will break down the good, the bad, and the ugly of how we hear, why we don’t, where we have problems (lots of assessments and fun exercises), and ways to fix it. Lots of funny examples of just plain dumb conversations between really smart people. And trust me: my snarky personality will lead readers through the process. I can’t wait until it comes out next year.

Email me with questions about listening. Speak to others about the project. Let’s make ‘hearing what’s intended’ the new buzz phrase. Because if we all can hear what’s intended, we can make a huge difference in the world.

About the Author

Sharon Drew Morgen is founder of Morgen Facilitations, Inc. (www.newsalesparadigm.com). She is the visionary behind Buying Facilitation®, the decision facilitation model that enables people to change with integrity. A pioneer who has spoken about, written about, and taught the skills to help buyers buy, she is the author of the acclaimed New York Times Business Bestseller Selling with Integrity and Dirty Little Secrets: Why buyers can’t buy and sellers can’t sell and what you can do about it.

Want to enhance your or your team’s listening skills? Contact Sharon Drew at [email protected]. Learn about her training programs and speaking topics at www.buyingfacilitation.com.

How is a cup of coffee like a sale? When it’s with a customer!

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I like coffee. Dark, black coffee. Espresso. No cream. No sugar. Just dark, black coffee. You?

But I look at coffee differently than you do. I don’t “wake up and drink it.” I venture out to a coffee shop and an early morning meeting, and oh, by the way, I have coffee.

My goal each day is to have an early morning cup of coffee with someone that can help me enhance relationships, make connections, build value, and make sales. As a traveler, I can’t do this every day. But I try my best to do it as often as I am able.

A meeting is a brand new way to look at the value of a cup of coffee. You may look at coffee as a cost or an expense. To me, coffee is an investment of time. It’s not “how I drink it.” Rather, it’s “who I drink it with.”

KEY POINT OF UNDERSTANDING: Whenever I meet someone for coffee in the morning, I find the meeting is relaxed and fun. It’s a genuine exchange of information. Always informal and humorous. And it’s usually with someone I do business with or could do business with.

I try to have these meetings early. Very early. Between seven and eight in the morning. Sometimes I have two breakfasts. One at seven and one and eight.

Oftentimes my appointments meet each other, so it becomes an additional networking opportunity. Many of my customers, prospects, and connections have done business with my other customers, prospects, and connections.

PERSONAL NOTE: When I’m done my with coffee and my meeting is over, I get back home as fast as I can so I can take our young daughter to school by nine. And no, I can’t do it every day, but that is the goal every day.

Think about the impact of that. A sales call BEFORE the day starts.

HERE’S HOW THAT IDEA APPLIES TO YOU:

If you have one cup of coffee a day with a customer or prospect, that’s equal to 250 sales calls THIS YEAR that will be relaxed, build relationships, make sales, gain referrals, and create business opportunities. Coffee and sales – not just coffee.

What could you do with an additional 250 meetings, appointments, or actual sales calls? How much extra income would that convert to? How much quicker could you advance your sales cycle? My wallet is pulsating just thinking about it.

“But Jeffrey,” you whine, “My customers are scattered all over the country.”

QUIT WHINING AND START THINKING: Drink coffee at your desk with a connection via Skype or vsee.com. Send Starbucks gift cards via aceofsales.com. It’s so unusual that customers will set the meeting, and then talk about how innovative it was.

“But Jeffrey,” you whine, “What do I talk about during the meeting?”

ANYTHING BUT BUSINESS AT THE START OF THE MEETING.

  • Talk family
  • Talk kids
  • Talk hobbies
  • Talk sports
  • Talk vacation
  • Talk travel
  • Talk fashion
  • Talk books
  • Talk movies
  • Talk culture
  • Talk passion
  • Talk ideas
  • Talk social media

Ask questions that allow you to ask more questions. NO NEWS, NO WEATHER, NO POLITICS, NO RELIGION, or anything negative about people or things.

“But Jeffrey,” you whine, “What tone should I set inside the meeting?

HOW TO SAY IT:

  • Talk positive
  • Talk truth
  • Talk relaxed
  • Talk about things in common
  • Talk humor

“But Jeffrey,” you whine, “What sales tools should I bring?”

TOOLS MAKE SALES FAST AND EASY:

  • Bring a referral
  • Bring a book
  • Bring an idea
  • Bring an influential friend
  • Bring your Instagram on an iPad

REMEMBER AND MEMORIALIZE:

  • Take notes
  • Take a photo
  • Ask for his or her favorite – quote, book, movie, team, player
  • Make another appointment at the end of the meeting
  • It’s under five bucks
  • It doesn’t interfere with your workday

“But Jeffrey,” you whine, “When do I start talking business?”

When the customer brings it up. Talk business when THEY START.

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Are you the BEST salesperson of them all?

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What makes a ‘top performer’ a top performer?

If you hold interviews with the most successful salespeople in the world, and ask them “why are you successful?” they’ll give you their take on it, but it will not be the right answer. They will give you symptomatic responses like, “I get up early in the morning” or “I work hard every day” or “I’m willing to do what other people are not willing to do” or “I ask a lot of questions” or “I put my customers first.”

All of those answers and those characteristics will not help another salesperson to become more successful. I would rather hear something like, “I have coffee with one customer every morning at 7:30” or “I pre-prepare three questions before every sales meeting. Engaging, thought-provoking questions about what I believe are the emotional elements of my customers desires” or “I take notes when the customer is talking to be certain I capture his needs and my promises.”

The differences are subtle.

Most successful salespeople have no concept of why they are successful, or perhaps they have no ability to make it clear, or even – never gave it much thought.

Yes, the salesperson asked a lot of questions, but the secret is to get to the motive of the person wanting to buy. The questions he or she asked drew out emotion and buying motive and, as a result, the salesperson created a buying atmosphere.

So, when I interview a successful salesperson, I want to make sure that if I’m asking him or her why they are successful, I want to get to the WHAT THEY ACTUALLY DO behind their perception of why.

Yesterday, I interviewed two multi-million dollar producers. I asked them what they did to get to their top position. Here are the net results (what I asked + what they said + how I interpreted it + how they agreed it really was after I restated/reworded it):

1. Persistence without being a pest. Following up professionally and consistently with value messages and firm reasons to buy. Their key: NEVER MISS ONE FOLLOW-UP.

2. Build real relationships. More than just a sale. Investing quality time with each customer BEYOND the sale.

3. A high percentage of customers give repeat orders without a bid, quote, or proposal. This is a result of TRUST and RELATIONSHIP.

4. They pass on the sale if the deal isn’t a good fit or good profit. They are not afraid to lose a sale or pass on a sale if it’s a NO PROFIT one or one that goes outside their business safety.

5. They make recommendations that favor the customer, not the salesperson’s wallet. They do what is best for the LONG TERM, not just make the sale.

6. They think ‘customer’ not ‘sale.’ That strategy leads to customer LOYALTY.

7. They think ‘ask’ not ‘tell.’ Great salespeople discover needs and motives by asking, not giving a sales pitch. (SECRET: They don’t use the slide deck provided by marketing, because it didn’t help them make a sale.)

8. They think ‘friendly’ not ‘professional.’ Their relationships are enhanced by the relaxed attitude found in FRIENDSHIPS.

9. They think ‘service’ not ‘quota.’ They found that the better they SERVICED their accounts, the easier it was to get the next order. They never worried about their ‘sales plan’ or quota.

10. They are accessible and available. All of their customers can TEXT when needed.

11. They are trusted by their customers. The TRUST they have has been earned slowly over time. Customers ask their advice before they buy.

12. They are truthful at all costs. Relationships based on TRUTH end up being relationships based on trust.

13. They are experts about their product and their market. Their customers want to know their salesperson is an EXPERT, not just a nice guy.

13.5 As a result of ALL the other things they do for their customers, they get referrals, often without asking. Referrals are not just leads, they’re REPORT CARDS.

Now you can say anything you want to about this list. But be careful what you say, because this is from salespeople that make big sales, and are putting major money in the bank. How major are you?

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].

The Advisor’s Corner – How Do I Lead Those Older Than Me?

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How Do I Lead Those Older Than Me?Question:

How do I lead direct reports who are quite a bit older than me?

StrategyDriven Response: (by Roxi Hewertson, StrategyDriven Principal Contributor)

Indeed, the chances of leading people senior in age and experience to you are quite high given the delayed retirements and demographics we see today. This is not a bad thing; in fact, if you are good leader, you will welcome the diversity in perspective, experience, and wisdom you can utilize from within your team. In my career I rarely held a leadership role without managing people older than me, until I became the older one! There are a few key things to keep in mind to get the best from your more senior staff.

Everything we do happens through our relationships, and how we behave impacts each of those relationships. When you create a trusting, respectful relationship with your staff, you will reap the rewards over and over again. It’s also about the conversation.

You already have the ‘authority’ if you’re the boss, and frankly, if you pull the “I’m the boss” card out more than 10% of the time, and even then, only when there is no other way to get something essential to happen, you are blowing it. Just like anyone else, you have to earn respect and trust… it doesn’t come with your title. If you are feeling insecure, uncertain, and less than adequate as you carry out your role, do whatever you need to do to learn enough to feel confident. Take classes, read… and oh, by the way, your greatest teachers might just be on your staff. Welcome their wisdom and make sure they know how much you appreciate it and them.

Here are 5 things you can do that will signal you are listening and respecting – and they apply to ANY of your staff:

  1. Be EXPLICIT about your expectations, how you will measure success, and then acknowledge their performance – whether good or not so good.
  2. ASK far more than you tell. LISTEN to your people, ask them what they know, want, feel, and need.
  3. Remove the word “but” from most of your conversations – say “and” instead or end the first sentence with a period and start a new one. When people hear “but” they don’t believe anything you said before it.
  4. Say “We” 10 times more often than “I”, including in your emails.
  5. Do not say “No” first. At least listen and say what more you need or agree that you’ll at least think about it.

The fundamentals of building a highly effective team come into play here, no matter the demographics or personalities. When you know how to create safety, trust, and group synergy, you will engage everyone on your team and get the most of their talent. So ask yourself – do you know where you want to take your team? Have you made time to get to know each of your people, what motivates them, and what they love or don’t love about their jobs? Have you asked for their wisdom, letting them know the team can only succeed with everyone contributing? Have you honored their contributions?

Bottom line – every individual has a story, a whole life, and is motivated by different things. When you build a trusting relationship and establish you truly care about that person, their wisdom, and their contributions, you will get a boatload of help, respect, and you may just learn a thing or two along the way!

About the Author

Leadership authority Roxana (Roxi) Hewertson is a no-nonsense business veteran revered for her nuts-and-bolts, tell-it-like-it-is approach and practical, out-of-the-box insights that help both emerging and expert managers, executives and owners boost quantifiable job performance in various mission critical facets of business. Through AskRoxi.com, Roxi — “the Dear Abby of Leadership” — imparts invaluable free advice to managers and leaders at all levels, from the bullpen to the boardroom, to help them solve problems, become more effective and realize a higher measure of business and career success.

The StrategyDriven website was created to provide members of our community with insights to the actions that help create the shared vision, focus, and commitment needed to improve organizational alignment and accountability for the achievement of superior results. We look forward to answering your strategic planning and tactical business execution questions. Please email your questions to [email protected].

Four More Words That Will ‘Shape’ my 2014

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Last year I posted four words on my bathroom mirror: FINISH, WRITE, SHAPE, and YES.

Based on last year’s success, this year I decided to create two four-word categories. One for achievement and one for improvement. Not ‘goals’ in the sense that you may be thinking about – rather intentions that I consciously and subconsciously work on every day, and build success all year long.

By posting the words on my bathroom mirror, I consciously see them each day, and subconsciously think about them and act on them regularly. Because they’re right in front of me every morning and every evening, they are inescapable mental confrontations. Oh, and the process works.

After I explain each achievement and improvement word I have selected for this year, I’ll provide a lesson that you can incorporate into your life as you select your word or words. The lesson is the motive behind the word so you can use the same principle as you generate your words.

Last week I wrote about my four words on achievement. They were: ADVISOR, DIGITAL, POWER and TIME. (If you missed it, you can get both parts by entering the words IMPROVE ACHIEVE in the GitBit box at www.gitomer.com.)

This week it’s four words about improvement. Improvement means GET BETTER at what you’re already doing. If you’re looking to start something new, and make it happen, that’s achievement. For example, when you want to achieve your sales plan, you must improve your sales skills, presentation skills, or your networking skills.

On the improvement side of life, my four words are:
INSTAGRAM – BLOG – SHAPE – BEST

INSTAGRAM – It’s the new Facebook. Thousands of teenagers are abandoning Facebook every hour and refocusing their social efforts on Instagram. Interestingly, Microsoft Word, the word processing program I use to write with, thinks Instagram is a misspelled word. That’s a pretty good indicator of where Microsoft is in the social media world: nowhere. You have to figure there’s got to be a pretty good reason Facebook paid a reported one billion dollars for Instagram. For you as a salesperson and/or a business person, there’s got to be a pretty good reason as well.

Here’s what I intend to improve this year: I already have a business and personal account. My personal account is jeffreygitomer. My business account is gitomer. I want to let my family, my customers, my friends, the readers of my books, the followers of my blog, the subscribers to my YouTube channel – all of my social connections – have a chance to view me as a person and as a business person. And you need to consider the same. Every day or so I post a picture to my personal account. And every day it is my intention to post one meaningful quote on my business account. My intention is to give my followers something to think about, something to learn about, something to smile about, and something to replicate. I try to be both a lesson, and an idea.

LESSON: All of your connections both business and personal need to see your human side, and her intellectual side. There’s an opportunity in Instagram for you to create a leadership position.

BLOG – I intend to make my blog much more personal this year. On salesblog.com (pretty good URL, eh?) I’ll be posting on-the-road insights from my travels, kitchen thinking, morning thinking, ideas I captured from reading, and the most important ideas I’m capturing from and for my daughters and granddaughters.

LESSON: A blog is a place to document and expose. When you put yourself out on the Internet, blogging is the best way to be found. Hundreds of millions of people have jumped on that bandwagon and will stay there. The key to blogging is consistency. At the moment I post two or three times a week. You should begin by doing the same. Just a paragraph or two, but make sure they contain keywords that others can find as they search about you, your products and services, and your company.

SHAPE – Last year I failed to lose the weight I promised myself I would. This year I have a personal trainer and a new eating habit set in motion. My mantra will be better health leads to increased wealth.

LESSON: I didn’t achieve my goal. I didn’t follow through on my own intentions. But the lesson is not failure. The lesson is persistence. Just because I didn’t do it last year, doesn’t mean I won’t get it done. If you don’t meet a goal, if you don’t achieve your intentions, keep moving baby!

BEST – One thing that the BEST people I know have in common – they’re all seeking to become better. My best skills on the business side of my life are: selling, speaking, writing, humor, friendliness, and creativity. The reason I’m excellent at those skills is that I seek to become better at them every day. My driver is very simple, I just ask myself this one question: Am I doing the best I can right now?

LESSON: Ask yourself this question after EVERY meeting, phone call, project, and social and social media outreach: Is this the BEST I can do?

Hopefully the words I have chosen for improvement and achievement, and the lessons I have provided, will inspire you to write and define your words for the year. Interestingly, you most likely mentally know what they are, but have yet to bring them to the visual surface as Post-it Notes on your bathroom mirror.

Want both columns and my bathroom postings from last year? Sure you do! Go to www.gitomer.com and enter the words IMPROVE ACHIEVE in the GitBit box

Reprinted with permission from Jeffrey H. Gitomer and Buy Gitomer.

About the Author

Jeffrey Gitomer is the author of The Sales Bible, Customer Satisfaction is Worthless Customer Loyalty is Priceless, The Little Red Book of Selling, The Little Red Book of Sales Answers, The Little Black Book of Connections, The Little Gold Book of YES! Attitude, The Little Green Book of Getting Your Way, The Little Platinum Book of Cha-Ching, The Little Teal Book of Trust, The Little Book of Leadership, and Social BOOM! His website, www.gitomer.com, will lead you to more information about training and seminars, or email him personally at [email protected].